Grieving through the Holidays
The holidays are here, and you may be feeling excited to celebrate! However, if you have experienced a significant loss, you are likely experiencing a wider range of emotions. This can include dread, sadness, grief, anxiety, loneliness, or even guilt for feeling this way. Be assured, whatever you are feeling is normal and perfectly valid. Losing a loved one is never easy, and the holidays can bring a deep sense of loss and longing for them to be here with us. Whether your loss was recent or further in the past, here are a few ways to honor your loved ones this holiday season.
Display a photo of them in your holiday decorations
Nothing can replace their physical presence, but having photos interspersed with your usual holiday decor can keep them on your mind, and close to your heart, during the holidays.
Set aside time to share stories about them or look through photos with other people who also loved and miss them
One of the best ways to keep memories of your loved ones alive is to talk about them. Gather together as people who loved your person and share your favorite holiday memories spent with them. This is also an opportunity to shift focus away from the loss and to remember them as a person.
Continue the traditions that you had with them – you will be grateful that you did!
It is normal to feel an urge to shy away from traditions that you shared with loved ones who have passed away because it can seem too painful to do it without them. However, continuing traditions can be a powerful way to keep their memory alive and feel connected to them even after they are gone. Put up their favorite decorations, listen to music they loved, bake their favorite cookies – whatever helps you feel their presence!
Make their favorite foods and share them with others
Food tends to play a huge role in holiday memories, and you may be surprised how many memories come flooding back to you when you prepare or eat these dishes. Also, grief can feel quite isolating. Sharing your loved one’s favorite foods with others provides the opportunity to both honor them and share more about them with people in your life.
Write them a letter
Write your loved one a letter and let them know everything that you wish you could share with them in person. You can keep this letter for yourself or read it out loud “to them.” This can feel a bit strange at first, but it can bring comfort and closure to share these messages aloud.
Start (or re-start) Therapy
Sometimes grief is difficult to handle on your own. Many people find it helpful to work with a therapist to help them through their grief. If you are ready to start therapy, find your best fit therapist and book instantly using Find My Therapist. If individual therapy is not something you are able to access right now, peer-led grief groups are a free or low-cost alternative. A quick internet search should give you an idea of resources available in your area.
Finding Peace and Resilience During the Holidays
If you are struggling this holiday season please know that you are not alone. Grief is not a linear process, and it is normal for major events, like a holiday, to reignite feelings of loss. Taking time to acknowledge these feelings and still find some joy in the holiday season may help you to feel more at ease. Grief is a unique experience; what you are needing may look very different from what others in your life are needing. That is both normal and okay. Take the time you need to check in with yourself, figure out your unique needs, and tend to these. If grief is feeling unmanageable, it may be a good idea to reach out for additional support.
More about Samantha Rogers, LCSW
Read full bioI'm a Licensed Clinical Social Worker experienced in working with trauma, substance use, dissociation, anxiety, depression, self-esteem/self-worth, relationship issues, attachment, and a variety of other concerns. I am trained in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy and am always searching for opportunities to use this powerful tool to support clients in living their fullest life. I also utilize motivational interviewing, mindfulness, person-centered therapy, psychoeducation, and a variety of other tools to support my clients. I firmly believe in the inherent dignity and worth of every human being and this guides all of my work. Working with me, you will find yourself empowered to take the lead in your own work with the support and gentle reflection of your therapist.
